What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Students, please find the surface integral.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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Why is it sad that a black guy died in a car crash He was my friend

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Dont read this joke

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

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Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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