What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

thumb_up thumb_down -8

gabbi nunez ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I woke up today

thumb_up thumb_down -8

kesha is a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's better than a nice hot shower on a cold, rainy day? Osama bin Laden rotting away at the bottom of the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops