What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely, caucasian man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops