What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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Fat people.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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385

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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What happen to the ginger after he posted a joke? He was put in jail for 6 months, and analy raped in prision!

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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