A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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Justin Bieber

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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SNAPPLE!

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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whats forever alone me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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