Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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^that joke's not funny

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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wat?

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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