What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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