Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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