How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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Asians

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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