What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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Who are doctors and literally are porn stars

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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womens rights

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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What's the answer to all your problems The answer

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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