How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man walks into a store and buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How old is your mom Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

thumb_up thumb_down +18

general tso's broccoli

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops