What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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