My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.