A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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