what did the dog say to the cat? give me back my dog food.

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Safe sex MR

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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KOOKABURRA

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops