A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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NEVER

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops