how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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why did michael jackson write black or white he didnt want black people to copy him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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