A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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Catholicism.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops