What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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Yanter, Look it up

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops