- Anti Joke

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

Knock Knock Not Yet

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.