Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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heads up!

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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Do u take sugar?

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Why couldn't the Indian kid read? He got shot in the eye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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