What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

Caca.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...