"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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Caca.

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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What color is red paint? Red

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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