How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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your a vagina says you, you're a tit

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A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

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my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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xavier stop

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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