How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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Penis-biter

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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