- Anti Joke

"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

Students, please find the surface integral.

Q.whats the weirdest thing??????? A.woman leaders

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

kieran scott has a huge back

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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