Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

i died. new product by steve jobs

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops