Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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What do you call a pencil that's been broken in half? 2 pencils

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

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tims sty:)

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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your a vagina says you, you're a tit

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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