How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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What happens when a black man is alone the KKK appears

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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I was once a hamster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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