The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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why did arno fly away? he was a bird

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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CRY

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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