What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was watching this one episode of mighty morphin' power rangers ......and i realized i got trapped in the 90's.... THANK YOU BOOTLEG TIME MACHINE FROM .....EBAY......it's always ebay.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

thumb_up thumb_down +2

John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what makes reed stop talking? LYRENS SHARPENED PENCIL

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down

what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

thumb_up thumb_down

A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

thumb_up thumb_down

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

thumb_up thumb_down

Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

thumb_up thumb_down

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops