Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Oh

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Justin Bieber.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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