HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

Har har hey

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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