Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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Life is like swimming. When you drown you die.

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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What's worse than seeing Levi naked? Cancer.

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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