Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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Question: How did the little girl die Answer: cancer and AIDS

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knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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