how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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