why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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