What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops