Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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Penis.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

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ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

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what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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Did you hear about the man with 3 balls? He liked tennis

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the black person

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What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

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Whats worse than having sex with your hot cousin? Not having sex with your hot cousin...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops