A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

420

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops