How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

Basically copying you.

What if the rest of you value something wrong?

Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

How do you know if a black man was in your house while you weren't home? When you let them enter to babysit your children.

Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

You know what's catchy? A cold

The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

The jets are a good team..

Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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