Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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69

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a seal walks into a club.

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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