What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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honest politician

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Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

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First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Sometimes I question my sanity... Occasionally it replies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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