A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Morning wood.

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What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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