why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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that krista chich from the below joke accepted me as a friend, then she blocked me. haha WOW, she realy is a bitch.

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops