Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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honest politician

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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An Irish guy, a black guy, and an Asian guy walk into a bar. They all caught the plague and died.

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Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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Women's rights

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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you...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops