Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

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A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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