Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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You just read this ..

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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watch a i d s left

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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