Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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170

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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George Bush.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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