What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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