What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

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JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops