420

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Morning wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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