How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Why does the gaming console Wii suck? ????????????????I like ice cream????????????????

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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What did god say when he made the first african american? "I got about 3 more humans to go and about 400,000,000 more insects and plants"..

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An Asian man fails a math test

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

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If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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