Apple juice.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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