What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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balls

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops