Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

CRY

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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