Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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balls

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops